THE 9 PAINFUL Life Lessons Men DON'T WANT to ADMIT
Guys hate to admit it but there are lessons about life that are painful and we often don’t learn until much later in life. Guys have a tendency to think they know everything, which makes the sometimes harsh truth of life even more difficult to face when we finally realize how little we truly know about what really matters in life. We lose friends and people we love, and all of these things are part of life's universal lessons, To help you achieve this lesson, I have compiled the top nine painful life lessons men learn too late in life but don't want to admit. Take a look at these lessons that I hope will enrich your life and allow you to grow into the man you were meant to be!
1) Money won't make women flock to you and if they do, run!
Men often think that once they become successful, women will find them more attractive. The truth is, they're just as likely to be attracted to a guy who's on the bottom rung of the ladder as they are to a guy on the top. And if women come around, chances are it's because you're their ticket out of poverty. Successful men forget this and end up having kids with women who can't offer them anything other than some good old-fashioned sex. Of course, those same women abandon him when he becomes broke. We've seen it all before: J.R. Ewing became rich in Dallas and dated a much younger woman for years but soon she was sleeping with another man when his fortune went south.
I'm not trying to say this pattern doesn't work both ways, but from what I see most successful men lose out at both ends they have crappy marriages or relationships while they're doing well and then eventually end up alone or living in a cardboard box when their fortunes take a turn for the worse. I know plenty of guys who were very happy in the '80s but now they live like kings. Don't let money blind you from the big picture, money may help bring some women into your life, but it won't make her stay and won't buy you, love. You'll always need to focus on who you are inside and the value you give others, including loved ones and friends.
You'll need to invest in real estate, investments and have enough cash saved away so that your financial situation is stable even after any major disasters such as illness or injury. Then, if things go well (you could win the lottery!), use that windfall wisely rather than buying flashy cars and watches that attract every female with hormones running through her body. Money should never define a man nor should success trump values.
Yes, wealth brings beauty, happiness, and comforts to one's life, but remember that nothing can replace family and close friends. As the author says "Successful men forget this and end up having kids with women who can't offer them anything other than some good old-fashioned sex." Once again we must stress that a man must focus on himself first and keep strong relationships with those close to him, these people will stick by your side no matter what.
2) It's not worth your time to engage in sex without an emotional connection (so don't pretend otherwise).
While few men are open enough to discuss such a vulnerable topic, the truth is that sex without emotional connection is an empty experience. In other words, it's not worth your time. If you're honest with yourself and think about it, you'll realize that you can't get turned on by a woman who doesn't care about you. You'll also be able to enjoy the experience much more when you feel like she cares about what she's doing and wants to make sure that it feels good for you too. It's all about feeling loved, appreciated, and cared for, which will translate into a better sexual experience for both of you. I know it might sound cliche but if you love someone, then show them in bed.
Not only will they appreciate the sentimentality of it, but they'll be grateful for the extra attention and care you show them and remember this when your time comes later in life. So how do we foster an environment where these feelings matter? We start by having conversations. Open up to each other and talk about what's going on in your mind and heart so that you can communicate your needs clearly. A healthy relationship should always involve honesty, respect, and understanding so make sure you have those things before having sex with her.
Sex won't be amazing unless you have those three things. And for those of you who say that good sex doesn't need any emotion or vulnerability whatsoever, I'd argue that the opposite is true: The greater the vulnerability, the better. At least from my own personal experience and observations, nothing beats genuine openness between two people in bed... When we really connect as humans and express our vulnerabilities, it seems to bring us closer together than ever.
There's no way to fake something real and put on a false facade when you're naked and vulnerable next to somebody else. Instead, both parties tend to leave themselves exposed while they explore one another at their most sensitive points physically and emotionally...The point is that communication outside of the bedroom leads directly to bedroom satisfaction. So don't be afraid to ask questions or open up, even though it may seem uncomfortable at first.
3) life will separate you from your friends one day, make the most of it now.
Practice non-attachment in all of your relationships. All relationships serve a purpose in your life. This is the best way to avoid getting hurt when it's time for that relationship to come to an end. Don't take things personally and don't let any feelings of attachment hold you back from being happy. One day you will have family, friends, and people you care about, but they won't be around forever. Make the most of them while they are with you because life will separate you from your friends one day. We're often told that no man is an island, meaning we need other people to survive or live happily. But what we fail to realize is how fleeting those connections can be. Friendships change over time, some fall out of contact and others just drift apart, eventually disappearing entirely.
The majority of friendships start off strong but the bonds weaken over time until they become barely recognizable at best or nonexistent at worst. It's important not to invest too much into these friendships and perhaps there will come a point when one side only wants superficiality when there was once something deeper between the two parties. It hurts every time you lose someone dear to you, but if you practice non-attachment in your relationships then it'll hurt a lot less. When the loss happens, instead of looking for ways to get revenge or make them jealous by trying to replace them with someone else who won't last as long as that person would have if they hadn't been so selfishly taken away, simply remind yourself that this person came and went as quickly as they were supposed to.
Life will separate us from our friends one day, make the most of it now.
Spend time with them whenever possible, and share stories and memories together. Acknowledge each other for everything that's happened up to this point in your friendship and make sure you're both enjoying yourselves before it comes to an end. That way, even after the person leaves your life, you'll still have good memories of them. And remember: always make sure you stay true to yourself and don't let the people around you bring down who you are inside. Never forget where you came from. Always know who you are and never sacrifice that for anyone.
There are two mistakes you want to avoid making when it comes to the people around you. First, never forget where you came from. You may feel like the world owes something to you because of how hard work has been on your part and what’s been sacrificed by your loved ones, but never allow anybody’s opinion or success to affect your view of yourself. Remember where you started and what got you here today, do not underestimate the power of humility and respectability. Second Secondly, don’t sacrifice who YOU really are for anybody even if they say they love YOU.
4) Invest in yourself rather than wasting your money on useless goods don't be a people pleaser
The 20s is a time for guys to enjoy the pleasures of life. Let loose and go wild! But don't waste your money on useless goods and don't be a people pleaser. You'll spend your 20s figuring out who you are and what you want, so invest in yourself rather than wasting your money on useless goods or being a people pleaser. It's true that everyone wants to appear successful in their 20s, but it often comes at a price. Remember that life is long, so don't make any decisions in your early years that will hurt you later in life. And don't get too comfortable with your mistakes.
If you're having second thoughts about something or if you're feeling like there might be an alternative way to live, then try to change course before it's too late. Sometimes when we're young we feel invincible and just keep pushing through the things that are holding us back because we feel like we can deal with them later down the road. Don't get too comfortable because life is long and you never know what obstacles might pop up down the line. There were many times when I thought I could deal with certain issues much later on, but now they seem impossible to overcome.
One of the best pieces of advice I've received was from my dad; he always said don't regret anything and this has stuck with me my whole life. What he meant was that even though we all have regrets sometimes it's best not to dwell on them because there isn't anything we can do about the past. All we can do is learn from it and move forward. I think one thing that most men realize in their 50s is how important investing in themselves actually is, whether that means taking care of themselves physically or emotionally. When you're 30 you start realizing the consequences of the decisions you made earlier in life (regrets), so start making better choices now while you still have time.
A lot of people say that wisdom doesn't come until you're older, but that's bullshit. I'm living proof that wisdom can come anytime if we listen to our intuition and take the time to reflect on our actions. So no matter what age you are, continue seeking knowledge and growth by reading books, joining social like-minded groups, listening to podcasts, etc. And remember: Investing in yourself will bring more joy than wasting your money on materialistic items or pleasing others!
5) It's time to stop watching pornography.
Porn is a complete waste of time and it teaches you to degrade women. You spend your time watching other people have sex, and yet you can't even talk to a woman without feeling awkward. You know that it's because pornography has warped your view of what sex is supposed to be like. You can't even look at a woman in public without feeling dirty or like she's going to judge you for what you've seen on the internet. It's time to stop watching porn and start working on your relationship with women. There are plenty of ways to feel good about yourself besides masturbating all day long, there are real women out there who will love you just as much as the ones on your computer screen.
Get outside, go hiking, join a team sport; do anything but watch pornography anymore. Your life would be so much better if you weren't desensitized to real sex. The sooner you cut out this terrible habit, the better off you'll be! Andrew first mentioned how he was initially shocked by his lack of sensitivity towards real-life sex after being exposed to pornographic material. He also believes pornography may warp viewers’ views on relationships and can affect their self-esteem. It creates an expectation of what they're going to find when they meet someone, said Andrews. But then when they don't get that same experience, they think 'I must not be enough,' which only makes them more vulnerable. It doesn't take long before they lose hope.
They believe their past reflects the rest of their lives, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
People who abstain from viewing porn report higher levels of self-confidence and a stronger sense of control over themselves than those who regularly use it. Pornography tricks men into believing their sexual feelings come from objectifying others instead of trusting themselves, resulting in some painful lessons learned too late in life You cannot respect anyone else unless you respect yourself, Andrews said. The need to sexually gratify oneself becomes a never-ending quest, making one feel never satisfied.
Pornography might make men think that every girl wants him or thinks he is sexy, even though this isn't true. Women notice when someone watches pornography and many are turned off by it sometimes permanently! Stop wasting your time looking at naked images online and spend time improving your life instead. Take care of yourself and focus on developing healthy habits: Go for a hike, play sports, and see friends whatever fills you up. Don't stay home watching internet porn all day. If you want to change your habits, begin now.
6) As you age, your body changes, so your mindset needs to change too.
You're not a superhuman. You need to change your mindset and focus on developing healthy, productive habits for your body and mind. Developing a sustainable self-care practice is essential so that you can continue pursuing your goals. Your goal should be to take care of yourself as well as you take care of the people around you.: Practicing good self-care will help protect your mental health by reducing stress and anxiety, controlling depression, minimizing worry about what other people think about you (or any negative thoughts), preventing low energy levels, and improving sleep quality.
One way to develop these healthy habits is by making it easier: try incorporating yoga or walking into your day, drink lots of water or herbal tea; get enough sleep, learn relaxation techniques; eat fresh produce, and make time for fun activities with friends and family members.
Whatever feels right to you--as long as it's safe give it a try! Self-care is a commitment and takes work but it's absolutely worth it. It has been proven that taking better care of yourself leads to more productivity at work, which means greater success in all aspects of life. Bottom line? What you do for your body does not just affect your physical health but also affects how you feel mentally. And if done correctly, can have great results! A few months ago I was really struggling with my job. In order to combat my feelings of failure I started doing Yoga every morning before work.
Within three weeks my happiness level increased by 15%, my stress level decreased by 30%, and I felt much more confident and focused throughout the day. Now I am able to push through tough days without feeling like I'm going crazy! It really helps me take care of myself, because if I don't take care of myself then I won't be able to effectively take care of others. But there are times when I slip up, whether it's staying up too late playing video games or eating too much junk food. When this happens, I use various tools to reset it. These include turning off electronics an hour before bedtime, using guided meditation apps, drinking some lemon water first thing in the morning after waking up, writing down my daily achievements/progress (even if they're small), and unplugging from social media.
If you find yourself getting off track regularly it might be time for an evaluation of what exactly your triggers are, why you're acting out, and what you can do to counteract them. Maybe you're bored, tired, lonely, unhappy, or frustrated with your current situation. Whatever it is, addressing it head-on will help. Try seeing a therapist for one-on-one sessions where you'll be given professional guidance and insight as to why you act out. Alternatively, join a support group of people dealing with similar issues for support and encouragement. They may even offer solutions that would never have occurred to you on your own.
7) Instead of trying to imitate someone else, embrace your own unique personality.
I am not different or special. I am just a man. I live my life. I make my own decisions, and I take care of the people who are important to me. I worry about things, but it doesn't stop me from doing what needs to be done. When I have time for myself, that's okay because that's all any one person can do with their time on this earth. And when it comes down to it, what else is there? We need to be our own character not pretending to be someone or something we're not. In the end, don't you want to look back at your life and feel like you didn't waste a single day? Don't you want to be proud of yourself? Take chances. Learn lessons, even the hard ones. Learn from other people too.
What if you die tomorrow and never get another chance? Live today like it might be your last day on Earth! Stop living in regret. Stop wasting time looking back and thinking how much better things were in the past. Sometimes it takes one moment to change everything. There's only so much space in our lives, so why spend it dwelling on something that happened yesterday? The more you accomplish and live, the happier you'll be later on as you reminisce over your life (if possible). Remember: You are imperfectly perfect. Your imperfections may cause some pain now but those same qualities will define who you really are later on in life. Embrace them and let them guide you through life’s journey. Once you start developing genuine authenticity and attracting people that want you to succeed, it becomes infinitely easier.
It's a snowball effect where you build momentum and become unstoppable. Get clear on your mission in life and always remind yourself WHY YOU DO WHAT YOU DO. Find a way to inject passion into everything that interests you by being interested in anything. At the end of your life, I hope the number one thing anyone can say about me is that they felt they mattered while they were around me even if it was just for five minutes or an hour out of every 24 hours. That's how we should think about ourselves. You matter. That doesn't mean you matter more than everyone else, it means that no one else matters more than you.
I'm sorry for being selfish sometimes and taking up time that could have been spent helping others. But the truth is, I needed help too just like everyone does and sometimes that meant doing things on my own before letting others know what I needed in order to heal myself. So if someone cares about me enough to stick around and share themselves with me unconditionally, then I care enough about them to love them back unconditionally in return.
8) The long game is more satisfying than instant gratification.
It's hard to be an adult. It's hard to settle into a job and allow it to determine the next few years of your journey, even if you know that what you're doing is good and right for you. It's hard to be patient when all you want is instant gratification. But life is long, and the long game can be so much more satisfying than instant gratification. Sometimes patience means waiting for the one thing that will determine the next phase of your journey. Sometimes patience just means deciding to stay put instead of being driven by restlessness. Either way, it's not easy to learn how to wait well as an adult... When we drift through our twenties, we often don't have to be ready or on purpose to start something new. We can drift from job to job without too many repercussions. So we don't develop habits of staying put or seeking out a plan in adulthood. We only have one life and we don't want to spend any time at all with regrets! If you find yourself in this place then I would recommend spending 5-10 years refining 1 skill before moving on to something else. Allowing yourself this space to work on one skill will help reduce drifting and keep you from regretting not fully developing an important area in your life that could change everything for the better!
9) You never know when death will knock at your front door, so make every moment count.
There are no second chances. Every moment counts and you never know when death will knock at your front door. The reality of this is hard to grasp, but it's important not to squander the time we do have. You should make each moment count. Reflect on what you want in life and how best to get there. If you're unsure, then seek out advice from your family and friends, or go talk with a professional psychologist or therapist who can help you identify your core values and set goals based on those values. Make sure they're achievable yet stretch you as well. When I asked Andrew about his feelings on moving to another country he said that he thought about it a lot, especially considering that he had an offer for work in Germany. He told me that after talking to his father-in-law and many other people, he came to the conclusion that if he wanted any stability for his children (and future grandchildren) he needed to stay where he was because there was just too much uncertainty.
As I drove home from my meeting with Andrew I felt hopeful for him as well as myself. Hopefully, everyone finds happiness before they lose someone close and I'm thankful for all of my blessings! Death can strike without warning. That's why every day matters so much, so don't waste time doing things you don't enjoy. In hindsight, I learned that maybe focusing more on quality than quantity would be beneficial. For example, instead of having a hundred crappy thoughts throughout the day try to have ten good ones. I find that starting off the day with positive affirmations helps set the tone for my mindset. For example, right now I've been writing: I am calm. It sounds silly but it's a way of exercising some control over one's emotions rather than letting them rule me like some kind of dictator. It also reminds me that I need to take care of myself and not focus solely on others.
The last thing is recognizing your blessings such as having two healthy kids, a roof over our heads, food in our pantry...
Even if these aren't problems most people face on a daily basis we still need to remember them! They'll only be ours temporarily and even though there are bad times now (or always), one day these moments will become cherished memories. I love being able to see both sides of the coin, and I remind myself that life isn't always easy. But, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't live life to the fullest. There are countless quotes out there that tell us to make every day count and live each day like it's our last. This is easier said than done, but I feel that taking this mindset into consideration has helped me greatly. This may sound sad and morose, but I hope it makes you stop and think about how you're spending your precious moments on earth. I hope that you'll use this post as a guide to change your perspective and make a difference in the world.
Conclusion
As a man, I want to share with you nine lessons that I wish someone had told me when I was young and stupid. Hopefully, it will be helpful for you in your life
I learned most of these lessons through pain, but they don’t have to come from that. Whether you’re trying something new and failing, or just looking for advice, consider what I’m about to say. These are things we really need to know as men. Maybe then we can finally stop making life harder than it needs to be. Let's see what we learned in this post/video.
1) Money won't make women flock to you and if they do, run!: Stop chasing money. If you're lucky enough to find a woman who loves money more than she loves you, let her go! It's time to realize the only thing worth chasing is self-confidence, not the next dollar bill.
2) It's not worth your time to engage in sex without an emotional connection (so don't pretend otherwise): We always hear that sex is important. It's vital, actually. That doesn't mean it has to happen on the first date or at all if there isn't an emotional connection. You'll be much better off waiting for a girl you genuinely like before having sex so that way you both get what you want and deserve out of the encounter.
3) life will separate you from your friends one day, make the most of it now.: Friends are great until they leave. And no matter how hard you try to keep them around, eventually, you'll drift apart. The sooner you accept this reality, the sooner you can enjoy your time together now.
4) Invest in yourself rather than wasting your money on useless goods don't be a people pleaser.: Don't waste your hard-earned cash on material possessions you don't need. Instead, invest in yourself by learning new skills, spending quality time with family, or giving back to others less fortunate. Take pride in being a giver instead of taking pride in being given too many gifts because someday you may find those gifts become tattered and worthless, anyway.
5) It's time to stop watching pornography.: Pornography is normalizing male aggression, sexually objectifying women, and corrupting the innocence of our society. Quit porn today and focus on real relationships with real people.
6) As you age, your body changes, and your mindset needs to change too.: One day you'll wake up and look in the mirror. What will you see? Will you be happy with everything that stares back at you? Or worse, will it scare you? Chances are good that parts of who you are may seem unacceptable to the rest of the world. Time to change your mindset and show everyone else that the perfect package contains a flawed product.
7) Instead of trying to imitate someone else, embrace your own unique personality.: It's time to stop feeling bad for being different. Be proud of the person you are and don't care what anyone else thinks. There is nobody on earth that is exactly like you, and we should all be thankful for that fact.
8) The long game is more satisfying than instant gratification.: Sometimes, the hardest lesson to learn is that success takes time. It's going to take work, perseverance, and patience for you to see any tangible results. But it will be well worth it in the end.
9) You never know when death will knock at your front door, so make every moment count.: Death is inevitable. Someday you'll pass away and while that is a morbid thought, it's not something to fear. Make every day count and live life to the fullest with the knowledge that your time here on Earth is limited.
and that's all folks, let us know your thoughts in the comments below
